last week was a horrible week. heh da pressure was such an intense. some more with an added cipan - i lost a 50 note, which should be traded for a reload token - sorry nina - can't reply ur sms. da CPR test was creeping my soul throughout da week. da fact dat i don't read / study is another matter. after completing my undergrad study, never had i thought to be in such exam fever mood (as what i was experiencing last week). though dis CPR thinggy is just an added activity, it did influence my routine.

well, my family noticed da stress.

"... kalau dah tahu sibuk, awat daftar untuk course tu?.."
".. tak daftar pon... prerequisite for life saving course.."
".. then, it's important for you to know cpr.."
".. but, i'm not interested in cpr... eager to learn life saving.."
".. do 1 thing at 1 time.. ... "
".. want someting challenging...mundane life kills..."
".. then why complaining?"

hah why am i complaining? duhhhh balik2 salah atas kepala sendiri. uh! as a solution, a way out heh i was asked to prioritize to da important stuff, such as obeying to those fella dat hired me then baru on stuff dat caught my interest. so yesterday, i went for da cpr course with only 5 page (of da cpr manual) knowledge. haha i read only 5 out of 79 pages.

da exam was divided into 2- theory and practical.
theory - heh tahap anak cipan!
practical - bapak cipan! sebab assesment dia depan2, kalau theory antara aku, kertas, pemadam dan pensil.

during practical,
"..... did you study da manual?..."
".. i did... ... ... .. . . .. . .. . .. . . . . .. .. partially heh.."
".. who's ur instructor?... ... he thought you to do this?... .. ..." -> with some giggles.. bluewwk kan! macam nak picit2 hidung tester tuh!
"... nothing wrong with da instructor... i'm da one who can't remember da procedure. .. "

da room was cold. yet i was sweating like hell!

da session was aboout 4 hours. heh assesment ada la kot half an hour. queueing tuh yg berjam.

upon completing da exam, an old apek approach.

"... you're taking bronze?... " - bronze is da first out of 3 stages of life saving course. it's da preliminary stage whereby da height of difficulities is 3.5 meters. yep, i need to do da 3.5 diving. dilla, guna pool bawah, 1 st ketinggian. yg 1 lagi 5 meter. though it's only 3.5, my legs were shaking like da vibrating handphone. uh!
"yep"
".... next time bring along your kaki..."
".. sir, i've always with my kaki.." i thought he's trying to be funny as i was the only one there with tanned features- i mean non-mongolian ancient hehe non-chong,chng,cheng speakers.
"... lack of bumiputera ... girls esspecially.."
"... ok. but i'm from da branch campus.."
" .. you commute very day?..."
"... ya la. i wish i could claim da brige toll.. heh"
".. it worth da effort.. discount fees for student... brings more friends."

though it was a 'bad hair' day heh, it's kinda paid off. fardhu kifayah perhaps..







just came back from browsing through a couple of blogs. a blogger writes about da defeat of malaysian team. how they were beaten gloriously heh.

i've always wonder. why people reacted in such negative ways toward malaysian's squad. well, i do see dat malaysian didn't excell.. yeah not even winning a single medal. however, by blaming da players for those defeat isn't d answer. in da the spirit of sports, sportsmanship, there'll be a winner and of course a not-winner a.k.a loser. da important thing is da fight, match, sports it self. winning or losing is as a matter of hitting da right target at da right time at da right place.

playing under pressure is a burden. yeah not only do da player need to concerntrate with da game, but also ignoring da negative surrounding.

uh how i miss those years being involved in tournaments. it's fun, sad, horrifying, exciting, semua ada.







last night aunty bahl's sista came visiting my mak. nak ngaji katanya. then, as usual i prepared a lil bit snack for them.. tak banyak, bubur kacang, hot tea and some fruits. while cleaning da dishes, mak came and she said,

"mak dah banyak tengokkan orang ngaji. kekadang terfikir jugakla bila nak dengar anak sendiri pulak ngaji"

eversince i went to secondary school, i recite da Quran by myself. only during ramadhan, during tadarus, whereby a group of us recited together. now, i'm no more in residantial school. eventually, da timing (between me and mak - morning she'll busy preparing breakfast, dawn - me coming home late) seems to bother. we never had tadarus session together anymore.

howeva, i'm kinda keen to find a slot for both of us. sedey la pulak dgn dialog tuh..







da weekend was fun. thanks nina, reenee and fazliana for droping by penang and jue as well. bye2 rock, see ya in 2 years time.

gee, at last rock's gonna fly. well, she had flown indeed. yeah, i still remember it was during secondary years when we come up with d idea of studying abroad. and there she goes, finally..



~~~~~

it's all about who you are. because

..arrgh i can't continue. damn blank! need more readings!

i think i need a break. it's just too mundane. and it's like moving nowhere. it's like bubbling in mind with no prior action. motionless, physically as well as mentally. it's like having da intention of savouring da creamy cheese cake in da fridge but then realized dat it was someone else's. feeling like a pawn instead of a bishop. uh!







gee.. life is fun, hehe. moreover when you have a great plan ahead!







"Sejarah mengajar kita
Menjadi lebih dewasa
Meniti arus angkara
Lupakan kisah yang lalu
Teguhkan tugu imanmu
Doaku buat kekasih"
-ramli sarip


i felt lost. lost in da center of d earth. in between of being bold or timid. it's like having a tiny vaccum in such a concrete, dense surrounding. 'take it easy' - how i wished it could last because only for a moment, for a blink of an eye, it could work. da rest will always question what da 'consequences dat might happen'. 'no pain no gain', but gaining something with such a risk does burden da soul dat always demand for security.

da added cipan - mouth kept asking for somethung to munch hehe! un-kawal-able! wakakaka







dudes, here's an update, backdated entry la tapinya










i left my handphone at home.

gee, i accidently left it, though at first i purposely wanted to. i somehow regret dat i did forget to bring along da handhpne. as it seems hard to live without it and as it seems dat running away isn't d answer. well, it might be a solution, but it's not da best.

kinda serabut here. sometimes things works as what i've wished, some other times, they seems to ruin. kocak sana sini, lingkop depan belakang, buruk atsa bawah. cipan!. stuck. dunno what to do where to start. and mostly having everything to blame. huh!

lapar. kantin tutup. boring.semua busy

uh! gotta do something or else will be moron all day long chow..







today's Friday da 13th. so, is it a cool sign or a bad one?

why 13 is always attributed to bad lucks? as a muslim, no such thing is a pre-bad luck-sign as we are taught to treat d unknown future as a hope. hehe, which means dat non of da future teller machine -heh is reliable. dis is fair. as da future is even for everyone. so, whateva thing dat you're doing, always remember dat there's hope. and if it's not working as what you've wished for, take it as a valueable experience for ur future undertaking. good damn luck! hehe.

~~~~~

went to meet nina, reenee and fazliana last tuesday. had carbonarra for lunch and pizza for dinner. da last time met those wonderful, friends-foreva-dudes was 5 months ago. friends foreva. though it was only a 1 day 24 hours meet, still, it rocks. hehe. thanks super dudes..!

~~~~

charmine called, offering a diving trip to sagantang. and another hot offer is dat i can bring along a non-certified diving dudes. well, they sound kinda desprate. heh. unfortunately, i can't join. timing constraint + da way she sounds- kinda urging, 'paksa-paksa' me to join. it had somehow turned off my intention to dive. well, diving suppose to be fun, free-will kinda stuff. free willy!

~~~~

hehe was warned by guitar sifoo~ali, dat 'halt-ing' from 'goreng-ing' guitar will rusten da strings and, 'blunt' those fingers. hehe need to do someting here.







i've been hooked to malaysian idol. hehe. da previous 'idol' kinda shows don't even bothered my attention. there were like fake-live-drama. from academy fantasia, where i doubt how da contestant react upon d elemination of their 'rival's, pop-idol, amarican idol, audition, all those sms-singing-reality tv shows.

i do howeva enjoy, hehe obses, with survivor, explorace, amazing race. because of the physical challange dat they offers. fear factor on the other hand sometimes disgust me, moreover during mouth-consuming-stuff, those eating, shifting grossing stuff and ect.

there's one more reality tv show, amarican next top model. dis show was fun. eversince i followed da series, my perception towards modelling world changed. hehe. well i kinda respect those skinny, bonnie dudes. yeah, moreover when da show presents lots of physical and emotional challanges dat these models got to face before becoming a model. gee, in a way it's entertaining.

besides offering so-called real environment (till now my dad doesn't approve the 'authenticity' of survivor. he claimed rupert, rob and the other survivors were acting during da show), these reality tv shows reflected human reactions towards success and failures. there are lots of thing can be learnt from them.

not everyone is good dealing with success. yeah, same goes with failures. both success and failures come and go in life. and confidence is rather another element to deal with. hehe. fear factor is a good show, whereby da confidence of each contestant is always screened. whether your rivals afraid or motivated with da confidence shown is another matter.

survivor- da best reality tv show, hehe for me at least, features da politics of being human. where, friends-turned-rivals and vice versa stuff rulez. manipulation of strategies are such entertaining nowadays.

malaysian idol, is getting fun every week, and of course minus Jee's comment (i found dat she has no stand - and da comments were all streotype, balik2 - piching..., saya stuju dengan roslan ~ duhhh!). paul moss, he's straight foward. howeva i do get confused, what are da things dat he actually look in for a person to be an artist. anyhow, after their 4th show, i do agree with him dat certain people have da voice, successfully touch those pic, but aren't captivating enough. yeah, i saw dat in fahmy. he sounds normal, yet captivating. same goes with dat jackie. but nikki, uh, screaming things hurts d ears!








dudes, here's an update, backdated entry la tapinya








sometimes, it blossoms. every other times, it just wilts... duhh!