good bye 2003...
you did make me smile... with all da laughter in tears as well as da tears in laughter...
you witnessed da sorrow, success, failures, happiness, anxiety, distraught, agitation, passion...
you helped me color d emotions, composed da feelings and realised da virtual...
you embraced wonderful people... whom i loved very much ... and stoked me till death.. heh piiiirah... wakaka....

oklah... welcome 2004... wishing you da best of luck in heading me.. heh...






it's good to actually feel da pre-dawn breezing air everyday... this morning anyhow i realize dat today, i've been stamping my foot on this wonderfully created earth for almost 8401 days... auspiciously surrounded by fantastic dudes...feeling so lucky to experience da pleasant moments dat kept cheering in da middle of a chaotic-suck-ing life..

and da year's gonna breed .. countdown to a new figure in another 2 days... it's a day day dat makes new resolutions so does a day dat to gauge da old resolutions... there's a lot to tell.. but it seems not a suitable time ... maybe in 2-3 months.. hehe..

and dudes... thanks for da wishes.... luv you all [da gratitude hormons is rushing all over da body..heheh]... nenanti bila dah keja2 aku buat cheesy-mosssy party eh.. hehehe.... cheese cakes, carbonara, lasangna, berkeping2 cheesedale, susu -sebelum jadi cheese...

for azno, azanie, diana.... thanks for publishing da wisher.. rasa glemer semacam.. hehehe...

and dude... thanks for da lovely smses ....

dilla -- hepi bufday to u, may joy and happiness be yours, miss ya pal!
[oh man... i do miss you like hell... mis those days siuuuut]
nina -- happy besday!! semoga panjang umur... about time kawen la
[ yeah2 .. panjang umuq....]
reenee -- heppy bufday... kalau hg kat sini bleh celebrate dgn carbonarakan..
[ hari tuh tolak carbonara .. amek lasagnya.. heh!]
jesreen -- gurl, hepy bday.. sorry dis yr i'm so tide up.. balik penang call ya!
[ keja ]
nadia -- birithday slamat
[birithday.. uh..]
zulia -- hepi b'day.. g.luck in studies
[tq tq]






gee... yesterday and a day before was awesome... heh.. thanks NINA, REENEE, and POSEL!.... heheh macam nyesal plak tak amek cabonara [spagetti] semalam.. hehehe ..anyhow da lasanga was not bad either.... mineral water lagi la besh.. sebab ada tambah lemon sekeping... heheh rasa yg reenee punya cabonarra macam besh la pulak... then cover dengan rasa aiskrim... yummy.. lapaq seys... uh.. kena pi lagi nih... tambah2 bila police karma bawa daun terup...heheh.... tgk baby yg dr faz nak presentkan hari nih.. eiuhh indah sungguh kejadian manusia nih eh......
and ROCK, i'll remember ur advice...
thanks dude... gee thanks BUDDIES!..






uh... how i wish it works ... gee.. forbiding da desire is pain... though it might not be for a long duration....

open ur mind to da rest... it's a huge world out there

perhaps... how i wish i could... huh..when you're 'stuck' da world happens to become a tiny mini piece!...






back to da manuals.... never do i like reading all those manuals... even for da simplest product like shoe rack, calculators, softwares... yet manuals are essentials.. like those thick enclyclopedia .. now, in order to step ahead, this manuals should be 'khatam'ed .. .. uh...

perhaps dats da reason why cinderella left her shoes eh

shoes... placed at da most bottom of a human... dat separates them with da earthy land, dat protect those silky skin, dat layered those epidermis... (even DYMM is inspired by shoes... DYMM --> duli yang maha mulia... 'duli' is da dust on His shoes)....
i never bother to see one's shoes...as it's not much worth looking stuff (compare to da steamy eyes (frameless glases to be precise!) or tudongs or sideburns or sunburns or 'gold' teeth .. hehe).. until justnow, when da topic of shoes arised in da class... mrs anna drawed a number of shoes pattern and we were asked to describe whose da owner might be... fun yeah... lots of indications.... uh... i never thought it's fun to analyze ppl through their shoes... yeah, yeah, watches, spectacles, bangles, nails, tudongs are some od da stuff dat are preferrably nice to 'ushar' aside from da sweet face (every single face dat never frown is sweet!)...
thus, look down when walking - there's lots of stories down there






uh, it's already thrusday and tomorrow is FRIDAY.... da first 2 days of da weekdays seems to be longer than da rest 3 days.... it's always been like dat... though da same period of 24 hours is allocated for each day, still.still thrusday and friday make me rush... uh.. and dis friday... no more survivor.. wonder when and where will da next survivor8 be ....

faint heart and clueless mouth will never win da fair lady

it was discussed in class justnow... gee .. da lecturer highlighted dat 'fair lady' are easily swept away with flowery, soft, nice words... who utters it, what he looks like is always a second priority... hmm.. is it? she also stated dat it'll take a hell out of a man to verbalise their thought because they never want to speak... but when he speaks, even britney spears could fall in love with him... gee.. chemestry ..duhh..

anyway, there are a bunch of ppl born in december rupanya...me, you, him, she, them.... heh, today itself is christina's, and brad pitt's .. kristen kreuk (lana - smallville) on da 30th..

yesterday's yvonne was great.... normally, da class started with a low impact workout, howeva, yesterday, she started with a PRE-low impact ... hehe a.k.a warming up... which seems to be da toughest... it didn't involve much movements ... but a bunch of stamina... both hands were riased straight up for about 15 minutes, [while da heart is cursing for dat] stretching like da 'battery energizer' dude... mampos punya lenguh... worse than working out with dumbell... anyhow, da result was great... heheh woke up dis mornin' feeling like xena, da princess worrior... heh!













finally, sandra is d ultimate survivor, kicking out Lil... da good-goody lil heh... sad dat darrah couldn't make it to final two, and da game however would be much more unpredictable if Lil had taken jon along... jon fairplay heh... he was jeered tough during da reunion last night... hehe sapa suruh 'fairplay' sangat heh!

darrah's outcast howeva wasn't as sad as andrew's... gee dat man really play well but, was turned down by Lil, uh who happen to be d runner-up... the jury howeva seems get fed-up with Lil's 'i'm sorry's stuff...

survivor 7 is fun... yeah.. because it's hard to predict who's gonna be voted out... the strategy keeps changing, so does d allies... i like d way darrah deal, ..silence was her motto, look and listen, but eventually in final 4 challange dat move didn't work...... sandra, in d other hand, was outspoken, hmm transparency eh... in a way her strategy works... ikut angin... but again, Lil did da same too... cumanya, Lil wanted to be seen as a nice girl, who played it clean, but full of lies...

both d final 2 dudes, Lil and sandra were not physically strong... .. gee... in da early episodes, none of them seems capable of helping their tribe members to win da challenges... but then LUCK..., well strategy maybe dat put them on top of d others....

physical capabilities really is a threat uh... was proven on darrah and burton as well as rupert... darah's last speech was touching, ..she said dat it suck's to have people threathen for a 60 pounds girl like her...

survivor is a great game... it's so human... in survivor1, rich won because of his physical capabilities, survivor2, tina won as she's sincere with everyone, survivor3, ethan won as he didn't make any ally with anyone, survivor4, well, vecepia won as she was claimed to play well [uh i was for neleh instead], survivor5, tak follow, survivor6, heheh dis one teach me a lot about realtion between men and women, how enegertic they can be as da male and female contestant merge in a group, jenna, da bikini model won at last... and finally survivor7, is sandra's






No one knows what it's like To be the bad man To be the sad man Behind blue eyes And no one knows What it's like to be hated To be faded to telling only lies But my dreams they aren't as empty As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
-limp bizkit Behind Blue Eyes

dis song has been balring on hitz.fm since it bacome a hitz song.. heh!! since last month... one thing about hitz.fm is dat it would play songs again and again... gee,it get a lil' boring... though most of them are hits... howeva, da starting of dis song caught my ears , hmm... "No one knows what it's like To be the bad man" ... lots of intrepetations there.. anyhow, da chorus heh sucks.. menda2 ntah..

went for coh-yon's and cho-mi's majlis berkhatan beramai2 yesterday... d activity was fun, organized by da qariah (p/s azanie, pengerusi JIM penang pun ada, su JIM pb tadak.. heh).. it bagan with paluan kompang as those kids involved 'march'ed in da mosque compound... .. these youngsters were then given a pack of chocolate and a songkok.... the whole ceremony ended late in da afternoon... hmm.. kinda funny watching them...their panicked refleks were entertaining .....yet, there are some who look cool -control macho... heh!






decimal to binary to hexadecimal to octave...
heheh some of da left away 'jargon's which eventually turns in lately..... gee, it was quite fun being a tutor.. hehehe.. besides it can helps to freshen all da seasoned engineering 'cliche' uh..

had a short conversation with a dude... gee.. what happen to her was predicted but still, no confirmation... and da heart-breaking news had somehow ruin her motivation for a moment.. dude, you deserve a better person.. yeah... a BETTER one.. and absolutely not dat BUTTER fella... [butter - kolestrol tinggi siut punya.. but penat je control tak makan nasi4 hari]

hmm... aqal and hati are 2 different things... [heh of course la kan].. what i'm trying to say here is dat.. there can be a wide divergence between them... make full use of aqal to maneuver hati, i was once told... and aqal is something dat differentiate annas [human] and the rest [hehe specifically - animals]... but then again... only by hearing to da small whisper of hati, one can be truly satisfied.... instinct... unfortunatelly, 'ikut hati mati'....lah pulok...

gee... well, does aqal decision/judgements/needs are boring?.. schema? ... naive ? plain.... gee perhaps nafsu could offer much better ideas eh?...much more adrenaline rush, much more ecstasy life eh?... uh .. ..... and again, does nafsu only suggest bad habits/cruel actions/impious lifestyle?.... every annas [human] is attach with a nafsu... dat separetes annas and malaikat.... uh..

maka, human are attached with aqal, hati, nafsu.....
use aqal to guide hati to restraine nafsu... hmm yeke?
aqal - "ha!!"
hati - " uh!!"
nafsu - "boleh jalan daa!!"













beli ikan kembong di pasar

lovely mornin'... gee it has been a while i did't have my mornin' walk... sunday-market-walk... yeah,... after da ramadhan, then raya weeks, life return to a daily routine... gee.. weekly routine i suppose... slurp some soy juice, and went into da market...

thought of buying some chicken, but later changed to fish... there were lots of people, it's weekend after all... with lots of attitudes, smells and attires... sounds of bargains, children's shouting, it's loud... heh noisy... what more can you expect when you're in a crowded place., every living thing normally DOes generate sounds... it's a way of releasing thoughts … there are lots of medium to do so… well, verbally, you could articulate it, sing it, shout it, …. But there are things dat boggle da minds and would just froze in da head… small things accumulated and flooded…. Need to be expelled but unfortunately couldn’t… uh … hehe run out of idea..

anyway,

while choosing da fishes, i remembered being underwater.... surrounded by thousands of fish… yet, it was quiet.. hehe of course la kan…teringat pada benson & hedges advertisement which shows a scene in da sea and in a stock market compound… with a there noisy & quiet… it’s true… da same amount of living creature in both world but with a totally different situations – in terms of sounds – bisin, sunyi… uh

rambut sama itam, hati belum pasti kan sama

quiet inside, loud outside … uh.. difficult situation.. “the pretender”
loud inside, quiet outside… heh zuhud!
loud inside, loud outside…. transparent
quiet inside, quiet outside… ber’isolation’ huh!













dehhh... if only IDEAs could pop in as easy as da blinking neons.... any idea how to get some IDEAs...

series, i don't know how to proceed dis xilinx stuff laaa... uh.. 20 sen to anyone dat could help!... attemps since a week bfore raya .. yet till today, still debugging da output section.. once it was fine, ... but was suggested to upgade it.. then.. maximise da board.. uh..!

went to watch haunted mansion last night... erm it was a so-so movie la tapi... whatdaya expect from a disney movie other than it's finely-childish-behavior stuff.. hmm.. gee..howeva da shocking elements weren't bad.. it's just a lil' typical family adventures..
previewed da coming-soon 'gothika' film... cast by helly berry, penelope cruz.. and it looks kinda psyco + horror ... gonna catch dat one too ...soon

i'm lovin' it la... don't know how to tell.. it's just so delicious, how cheak (hakka- yummy2 delicious)






Sememangnya aku rindukan Kedamaian ini kekal Menempuh hari-hari lalu
Dengan satu belaian Kasih sayang dijunjung di kepala Mengatasi segala yang dijuang

Sebenarnya hidup disini Arahnya berlainan Menunggu giliran tiba Entah bilakah masanya Selagi nafas terlekat di rongga Selagi langkah terus diperjalanan

Manusia punya hakikat Punya akal dan fikiran Melebihi kejadian ciptaan Yang Maha Esa Kejujuran pada diri sendiri Untuk apa dipersembahkan kepada

Mereka yang tak punya perasaan Kita ada nilai tersendiri Biarkan mereka yang tersasul Berkata ego menepuk dada

Semangat disimpan selagi ada Kesempatan hidup bersama Apalah ada pada keindahan Jika jiwa kita meronta-ronta Mereka yang tak punya perasaan Kita ada nilai tersendiri Biarkan mereka yang tersasul Berkata ego menepuk dada
Biarkan mereka yang tersasul Berkata ego menepuk dada

XPDC-Semangat Perjuangan Harmoni

heheh ali xpdc, bukan sekadar suara besh... malahan kelibat rambutnya pun juga... mengalahkan misya omar!!!








back to school huh...
gee thanks again to fiza and her sista', leen...
~~~~~~~~~

"uh kata nak ajak................ fon la.......... lapaq.."
"........ erm macam tak mau amik risiko........ baik tak tau dari tau jawapan yg umpama tak payah tau.................."
"..... duhhh ... fon ja "
" ...........kalau tak dapat, ..... baik tak payah tahu dari tau... suspens tak tau lagi ok dari bekkk2 suspen tau............"
"...........kena belajar menerima kenyataan......"

yeah, 'belajar menerima kenyataan', something dat poder me for da past 48 hours,after knowing dat a friend, gee infact a close friend's suicide attempt ... no kidding dude... i was once down.. really bad, it was dilla and dis fella dude who turned me up... but... tetiba these all stuff occurs...

"...................telan 20 biji....."
"................awat hilang pedoman sampat tara tu................"
".........serius ka b'lated april fool.........."
"...........series la, 20 bijik caramello baru april fool...................."

reality can sometimes be as bitter as rat-poison-cippan-kikapoooh-chillok... frankly, after 23 years living in dis super cosmos [soon...], reality still be my worst nightmare... uh .. there'll always be options for reality :- either avoid knowing it or.. simply deny..pretend dat nothing had eva happen...

for some, dis chicken-out-attitude is a reflection of an ignobly timid and faint-hearted dude... uh ... life can be such tormenting...if only one knows....

BUT, REMEMBER....apa2 pun kita hanyalah hamba ALLAH
dis is where da beauty of islam lies........


in the name of allah, the beneficent, the merciful,
"have we not expanded for you your breast?"
"and we removed from you your burden"
"which weighed down your back?","and we exalted for you your reputation?"
"then, surely with hardship comes ease:","surely, with hardship comes ease,"
"so when you have finished (with your immediate task),still strive hard, (then toil),"
"and to your lord turn (all) your attention."

-surah al-insyirah


always rely on da basic matters, 'ketenangan' itu terletak pada hakiki....

pressure, constrain are such abstracts ... very subjective... ntahla... of only i could help... (heh sendiri pun cuak bila nak berdepan dengan realiti)... uh...