hello... hi erhanfadli..
hmm... merdeka day ... huh it has been 5 years today since the death of P. Diana... heh hmm.. it was still fresh in my mind... 5 years ago... 30th of august.... the f5 students ... were celebrating merdeka night... we ordered mc donald... azimah and niza were assigned to pickup the meal kat pak guard... heheh wering kain sembahyang... ( at that ime ..the students are prohbited from ordering outside food moreover fast food) at the mean time... all the others were preparing for that night... heh ... well. the year before, merdeka night was celebrated besar2an ...seluruh sekolah... where we have teachers and students gather at dewan besar we sanh national anthems, reviewed merdeka moments but... then that 1997 year, no celebration peringkat sekolah is held.. the reason is that there was no sponsor so.. the budget for merdeka night was cutoff....nevertheless... my friends... heheh rock, and all da prefects... hehehe( takleh pakai semua2 nih) nak sangat sambut... huh... last year lah katakan..
so tepat jam 12.. i climbed on the blue chair(kerusi besi kat bilik confrence-CR yang diletakkan ditengah2 padang asrama puteri) and jerit merdeka 3 times... huh ntah hapa2 bikin malu aje... heheeh rock ..ingat dak lagi ... pastu ..kita kelah ramai ~ kol 12.30-1.00 makan2 ...sunday strawberry yg dibeli cair...heh the next day ... heboh kat sekolah ada orang(boys) amek gambar ngan kutuk2 sambutan tuh.. heh juwaini ngan fazliana... defend sakan2 ... hmm itu semua waktu ber'geng'
kini invidualisme ... heh






God Bless he/she.... heheheh ungkapan yg terina wa norsham suruh cakap bila bersin... huh semua org cakap yarhamkillah.... samalahkan maksudnya...
ok ... tadi aku + geng2 fiza yasmin miza ..ditugaskan buat questionaire pasal peminum kopi... di warung kopi a.k.a kopitiam dengan kedai kopi fraonchais a.k.a kopi mat saleh... aku pi kat dome, coffee bean ngan kedai sebelah dia ... lupalah nama apa... almaklumlah tak besa... hehehe agak kejakunan jugak... tapi yasmin bawak aku tour dan membelanja aku... huh segan lah pulak... dia belanja ice blended mocha ngan chocolate strew cheese cake... huh... sedap gak.. kek dia kalau dibanding ngan secret recepi aku rasa macam sinih sedap lagih...
p/s ..yasmin ... thanks...
aku interbiew sorang mat saleh nih... umur >40... hmm... dia kata dia tau kopitiam... tapi dia prefer sinih lagi... dia tak nafikan kopitiam sedap.. cuma bukan taste dia... hmm.. well.. terrina ngan norsham .. memuji kopi di kopitiam...maybe their tastebuds more towards asian.. compare ngan mamat nih... pastu dia kata kopi tiam more down level hmm... apa maksudnya... untuk mengelakkan aku tampak buduh ... hehhe tercagat depan dia aku anguk2 ... yeah i do understand what you mean... heheh aku intepretkan dia maksudkan kat sinih local kopitiam... ada language barrier disamping... tastebud dia yg suka akan kopi matsalehnya...
hmm... anyway esok we shall sembang panjang2 pasal research kopi outlets nih... tapi aku tak ke kelas... hmm... ada farewell partilah pulak tuh... huh... apakan daya .. pilih antara satu...hmm...
aku gih tgk2 bajukat east india... hmm.. extra size... hehehe ada pilihan yg agak menarik ...cuma arga kurang menarik... hehheh ... time kindof runnin out... chow for now..






een... this is for you




I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway
Just like before...



If I
Turn my back I’m defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on / then they’ll
Take from me ‘till everything is gone
If I let them go I’ll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I’ll be outrun
If I’m killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I’ll be buried in the silence of the answer

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real

to find myself again
my walls are closing in

One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard








what a mornin'
today... i am going to visit kok keong who is in hospital now,.... hhuh it was such a day yesterday... we went to the youth park... it was enjoyable as we gather and play a bunch of games... we started playing toi..galah panjang... heh mr loo.. really shoots out as he was the fastest runner of the day ... beating all of us who are at least 45 years old younger..then we took pictures... a lot of them... heh yasmin alqasy win thes part as her camera is always intouch... then we went to the hurdles part... each of boy and girl will run trough the track... and time will be set as to determine who is the champion... it was clement then abby then kok keong... we cheer as to make it fun.. but.. kok keong slip on the hurdle finger and fell of ..but it was very unlucky as the ground wasn't flat..and his hand broke.. not a simple broke.. his elbow was dislocated..huh really can be seen the distance of the dislocation... his face was pale... tarina burst out as she felt responsible for what had happen... it was an accident.... no one to be blame... and then chong clement jenny took him to adventist.... about an hour after i called chong... and kok keong is seduced to undergo an operation... we thought it wasn't that bad as maybe cuma terkeluar ligamen or something similiar... but kena operate- it seems to be a serious one... huh...
keadaaan kusam buat 30 minit...semua cam sedey... heheheh tetiba abby tanya nak main beah volleyball tak... huh aku jawab nak... well it had been at least a year i didn't dig... my passionate for volleyball.. ... unbeatable...i miss husna then.. my dig partner.. we used to set time ... and the most we can dig is for 1/2 an hour without dropping the ball.... although it might not seem sporty as not much running/ jumping involved but it still a joyful sport for me... to maintain the ball is on the air... i and husna will do what eva it take... heh... ok back to the youth park...
we dig... yasmin fiza and abby and siti... we all play... hmm enjoyable ..then hatem joined... hmm... ada ciri2 husna dia main.. we dig until about 15 minutes... then lunch is served...berkelah sakan... huh... lepas makan ... aku join budah2 dari china dan thai...dig.... huh cam gila perut kenyang ..kembong makan nasi lemak tapi gian nak dig punya pasal.. aku join... pastu bebudak tu nak undur... nak ammek gambaq ... hatem and gang ppulak join... digging... sampai peluh nak mampus... heh busauk... naseb la sapa yg duduk sebelah aku... janji puas hati main bola tampar... huh...
then... we all walk on the reflexology stones.... heh ... sakit beb lama tarak buat... gemuk plak tuh.. berat woo...tekanan tahap dewa
... then pulang... message chong ... kok keong ok tapi still perlu rehat... so tak dapat nak lawat dia..
the bawak yasmin and miza round kampus usm...
pastu pi kbj... tgk wayang... triple x... hmm.. ok lah jugak out of 5 i'll rate it as 3... takleh nak lawan minority report ... walaupun hero dia agak menggugat jiwa hehheh cool hingga mampu mencairkan para2 sakuri... heheh bukan sakura..sakuri.. ..still jalan cite yg kurang efektif... anyway... sound effect bagus .... 4.5 bintang...
kuar rumah pag tadi kol 8 ... sampai rumah pun kol 8 ... huh 12 jam pack of activity... huh! huh!... ok nak take off... nak gih gelugor .. jumpa fiza ngan yasmin nak berangkat ko ospital jumpa kapten ah keong..
chow
p/s ..dilla ..kad sampai semalam.. heheheh cute... thank ... pengajaran buat aku... nak kawan ngan semua yg rajin antor kad ,... heheh supaya rasa glemer dapat kad selalu... hheheheeh
jipang keglemoran.. huakkkkkkkkkk!!! bye






took me about 25 minutes to reach the net... huh what a queue... clas was quite interesting ..topic of discussion-different religion different believe-different aspect...young raise out a question concerening why muslims and christians need to thank god before they eat... che said that we are supposed to thank our parent ... who are the one that brought the food to us.... hmm... a perception of a girl... hmm... she then raise heropinion saying if that is so (thanking god rather than god).. kalau gitu... kena listkan semua... petani yg tanam sayur2 nelayan yang tangkap ikan .... hmm.. aku pun masuk ... thank god for having such a day that our parents can work, the fisherman can catch the fish, the apek can sell vege... so all of it depends from the coincidents which from the base of god... ... yong mentioned that ..if we always thank god for food, it meand that whenever bad things happen... we will tend to focus to god... that shouldn't be...
hmm... susah gak nak tekel thought dia nih... anyway.. kemudian mr loo..masuk persidangan...he explained that... no metter bad or good a thing is.... we must always thank to god...cause... for every situation that occurs, there is always a bright side... hmm... ..... hmm...







phew... what a day... heh i've just read a reply from dylla.... hehehheeh telling her big 'secret' hehehehehe main2 ooo.... it reminded me to the previous years.... where in every heart and soul of a student.... an A is a dream... a dream from upsr, pmr, spm and even the most in uni. ... anyway... now i've return... hehehehe not me alone... but with dilla.... to challange each other... who score best ..which is either B or C......heheheh well... we're not betting each othe on A...... BECAUSE A.... is just unnnnmmammoth...... ahaksssssssssss.....huakk...... heheh anyway... huh i think i'm getting fattier than before... huhuhuh..... during previous days... my evening life is full of excercises... well.. not that full ... it's either swimming or aerobic'ng... but now.... it's internet'ng.... hmm.. walla weh membesar bagai johan ......
yesterday myself, nadia, how cheat, cherway, yong, sai fong, and clement went to bj ...playing bowling... huh... it ... nice... well.. it's my first time ... going out reramai with the chinese... hmm... what i can say is that....majority of them are punctual.... and ... they do care a lot about paying.... welll the thing is that... mula2 aku cam keberatan nak bayar dulu sebab berdasarkan pengalaman lalu... kalau bayar ... alamatnya hangus sebab nak kutip cam malu+ malas... so ..i was 'keberatan' to pay... but then ... i think... only once.. entah bila lagi nak kuar reramai... hmm.. it turn out that .. they pay me back immediately... heh cashier lah plak.... hmm... 7 of us played 2 games each... qiute fun.... coz ... they are all kindof sporting... heh
hmmm.... out of blue... my mom is now hired by my maklong doing some investigation.... ahaks... investigation on her bakal menantu heheeh aku suka aa bab siasat2... nih.... tambah2 bila involve mak aku , aunty ngan maklong... heheheh 3 orang berbeza ideologi... bersatu untuk menyasat.... dan aku... hehheh co driver... fun... my new ambition...after being engineer, further my master...now, become investigator..................
last week... at this time.. ~5.30 my aunt passed away....... it was really a suddden... sad.. couse we're (my mom, dad, myself) just on our way to reach the gh... she passed away... 12 days afterher husband.. who is my uncle.... i feel sad for my cousin.... they lost both their mom and dad in a month.... what i could say is just...'tabah' dengan ujian dan dugaan.... evev my arwah grandma.. also pernah melalui semua nih... arwah mak tok ...masa tahun 1993 aku form 1, she lost her brother (tok ba), her daughter( mak aisyah), and her husband (tok bai) within 6 weeks......masing 2 akan mengahdapinya......dengan cara yg berbeza2..






i join the whole troop of els student to watch movie... huh it was really2 tiring..... apa ke taknya.. a whole day dealing with the transkrian metter.... then... this cool-situation with satria things and then... a whole night of doing els homework..... huh so 'sardine' tin packed schedule..... but i love being in this way...mind the arguments...but i like to be employed all the time... it make my rest precious...anyway ...BAD COMPANY is so-so movie.... huh out of 5.... i would give only 2..... or the most 2 and a quater.... huh... sabit dapat argo murah gih ngan els... idak pun .. it will be such a regret...the storyline is quite ok but christ rock did soso.... dalam arti kata lain... cr-busan... lawak buduh... huh!!!
collen class was extremly fun.... na.... not fun but extremly loaded with information... hmmm... today we discussed the way ppl work today... fun... she relate us to the environment nowadays.... telling of her wealthy-spm-gd-3-friend ... mr lo... hmmm... as usual... just poke him one topic and all we'll discussed is on it.... we learned picasso, paintings......
hmm.....out of sudden.... i started to realised ...i'm out of ide... till thenn se ya later... bye



anyway... it's time to tune back to my 'improving english' version...huh if i were given a chance of rewarding somebody..... i would choose dilla ...wanna know why... aku nak bodek... ahaks... no lah...because she's never lack of ideas to be confident with anythin'.... a big example... is that although it seemed to be a gigantic gray line between me and pbw.... she had always given me some inspiring phrases... heh tq...hmm...
coming back from transkrian... i have 3 delayed essays, a summary and another summary analysis.... i was pretty busy back then ... thus i couldn't reach you dilla through email...perhaps kalau tak arinih esok lusa aku anto...tak janji...apa2 pun bikan salah sesapa it's due to my emotioon towards the surrounding on that day... apa aku cite kat hg dilla ... anggap saja ngomelan ... heheh




hmm....dilla, best nampak salam ngan pm... heheh lupa nak suruh hg krem salam ...hmm aku nak anto email kat hg... tapi sekrang tgh kena jeling ngan pengguna lib.. jap yeah...






harapan...huakkkkkk..
heh semalam berlangsunglah sudah konvokesyen.... hmmm... the flow is exactly like what i've imagine.... hmmm aku dapat bunga dari mak aku adek aku dan kaan2 mak aku... dapat ammek gambar exclusive dari pentas sebab priority was given atas usaha kawan2 mak aku... hmmm mungkin ada paedah jugak jadi anak setaf... hehhe
apa2 pun ... dilla masuk hospital dan aku dapat mesej sms dia kol 3 pg yg mana aku bukak kol 7.08 pagi... masa tuh sedeh juga sebab nanti tak best sebab tak dapat nka grad ngan dia kawan aku selama 4 tahun di donia usm... hmm but some how she manage to be there at 8.00 pg when she succesfully dismiss from hospital.... aku rasa macam aku takde ramai kawan lain kat dunia usm sebab aku sampai nak daftar macam takde port nak melepak... tapi itu semua perasaan aku yang pesimist.... sebab aku need not org utk tegur aku and bila aku tegur semua ok je... heheheh syndrom optimism... and all the 3 hour wass full of chitchating ...heh komen2 recal2 memori sebab each personaliti yg naik ke pentas... although aku tak kenal semua... tapi pernahlah jumpak sebab masa kat tronoh ngan transkerian, hanya kami2 je yg ada sana... congrates semua org.... and as usual aku pun tgk said naik pentas... hehehe itulah naik pentas is all about... to present you to others.. and it's a broadcasting... huh! ... tgk jgn tak tgk... hmm ... and it ended with lagu menara ilmu.... it may be the last time i sang ... heh sedey ooo sayu gak ... sebab aku ingat lagi masa memula nyanyi 3 tahun lepas .. where i was thinking huh dinia engineering dunia permotorang... will i survive or could i survive....and now ... i had survived... huh ...survival yg banyak mengcungkil jiwa....
and sidang 5 pun diisytiharkan tamat... so kami pun kuar.....
aku ngan dilla lepak jap sementara nak tunggu the whole 1040 graduan kuar...jam weh... dari pi diri beratur lebih baik duduk menikmati biskut hi fiber yg dilla seludup masuk.... heheh and kemudian aku pun kuar lepas org dah surut... kuar nak cari parents aku... heh... keluar aje pintu dewan... aku selisih bahu ke bahu ngan said ... heh well.. kalau dulu masa malam dinner dia natural tapi kalu nih dia kasi satu jeling huh siut... hmm... well pendapat kak fiza betul sebab dia mmg susut muka+badan dia kurus... huh tapi aku tgk muka dia ada kesa beberapa dot2 yg besar... macam kesan demam campak je ... idak pun jerawat yg besar2 ... tak sure sebab itu hanya sekilas pandang but for sure ada dot2 tuh... ok the focus here is dia jeling ... cam jeling "argh... get lost!!" heheheh huh... in a way aku rasa cam tak natural je situasi tuh ... huh .... hipothesis aku...
aku rasa dia meluat... huh solution aku..
selama nih pun aku yg sendiri kagum kat dia .. menjadikan dia bagus ... huh it all is only in me.... ketaksubab seseorang itu hanyalah kerana dia ... mind focusing toward it... well... things get tougher when me myself starting to 'pooja' him... well kaguming him as a wonderful, gifted human created by God, as someone who is so damn unique, such a confident student... but after all.. it's only my perception towards him... the real him ... was never explored... bak dalam cite good will hunting ... will might seem to be a gifted guy in an unfortunate world... but he never experience any of his judgement- sinis ribin william bila will hunting komen mengenai gambar yg dilukis robin mengenai perkahwinan dia...
aku nak semua nih end lah... dah lah dilema aku ttg haluan lepas degree nih masih ujud ... kini dilema 'kentut' nih pun aku masih nak dwell... hmm... anyway.. i owe my own life.. i won't look back for such things.... cause ... i'm fighting... fighting for my own future... bak kata how cheat... if you think you can SURE YOU CAN..... the sky might seem so cluody but it can neber assure pouring the rain...
p/s thankd nadia,hatem, shah sebab datang .. sorry tak dapat jumpa ... rasa cam bersalah sgt. anyway nadia.... SORRY..... i apreciate you a lot... i owe you one... thanks..






hmmm.. mmg payah... rejected...
hmm.. lusa aku akan berkonvo .. esok aku ada tesr ssp ngan mr loo... esok akan kuar result reading /writting yg aku buat tadi... cam hampeh sebab tak cukup masa... level2 sebelumnih ... aku rasa cam leh menganak tirikan english nih... sebab relax... tapi kalih nih... ujian2 dia betul2 menghentam jiwa... heh ala2 ... anyway... aku ammek ringan jer sebelum nih... tapi... ... aku cam nak provekan jugak kebolehan aku... .. and cj pulak gelak ingat aku buat lawak bila aku cakap aku budak ee.. heh... menda aaa semua org nih... huh ... tapi at least .. kembang skit aku bila kok keong cakap dia nak laway konvo... huakkk kok keong... the hottest guy in els.. wakakak
anyway... aku tetiba tukar tune .. tulih dalam bm... eventhough sebelum nih aku tekad nak mampos .. nak guna english... nak improve lah katakan... cuma mungkin kali nih je aku luahkan dalam bm..
entahlah... lusa konvo.. aku rasa cam biasa... cuma te'excited' hanya waktu kelas els, sebab semua sebok2 cakap pasal konvo... aku tgk kluarga aku siap leh tahan lah jugak utk konvo nih... almaklum nak raikan aku... thank you everibodi... tapi jauh di sudut hati aku aku ... masih kosong untuk cari erti konvi nih.. ahak...... heh berbahasa lah pulak.. anyway...
aku rasa semua nih angkara semalam..nak tak nak aku takleh nak tipu... heheh masa pi rehersal aku memang ada intention nak cari said.... nak lihat physically dia yg terkini + nak try dgn selamba menegur....tut tut...
aku jumpa dia heheh dari jarak yg cukup jauh.. wakakak disebabkan aku jumpa dia semasa aku bersam2 dilla... aku makin berani nak 'attemp'ak tegur ... hehehhe malangnya... tiada sapa leh atur petermuan melainkanNya... heheheh ... inilah dinamakan sindrom pandang2 jeling ala2 50 han... heh..
hmm... apa yg buatkan lagi memanaskan perut.. bila k.fiza claim nampak sa dan dgn nada terkezut + excited dia kata said makin kurus erm... taklah samapi kurus tara tagho ... tapi tahap adi...yup si adie irawan ... hehe dia kat sa nampak cengkung dan dah tak ensom...heh aku plak kata... huh kurus bukan ke lagi ensom... + kalau tara adie... heh smart lah tuh... mambuatkan aku lagi tak best sebab ... hehehe akunya plan nak kurus sebelum konvo ... haprak tak jadi pun... mana taknya... sebab aku makin sayangkan keadaan aku yg sekrang... semua nih gara2 kelas english nih yg memupuk positiviti dalm diri... keyakinan dalam diri dan keceriaan hati yg membuatkan seseorang tuh lawa... macam tarina ... cikgu writting aku... dia besar dari aku tapi.. dressing dia ... konfident dia... + lawa semulajadi dia (kacukan chinese+india) membuatkan dia somebody... well aku bukannya nak claim tobe somebody.. aku cuma nak exist dalam everybody... heh salah konsep nih alqas oiiii hanya tuhan yg ada sifat tuh... hmm... aku cuma nak jadi somebody... hehe mungkin terlalu awal utk aku establish... apa2 pun...
mungkin ketawaran utk konvo nih sebab aku jumpa suresh yg semangat cakap pasal keja dia yg 2400 kat r&d tuh, yg ayu 2400 kat kl tuh yg sa 1800 kat kukum yg puva 1500 -nsf tuh, yg iwan 1800 kat kl tuh YG SEMUA DAH KEJA heheh nevermind... the time is still not mine... i'm happy to hear you guys are now employed ang now are directly regestered under jabatan hasil dalam negeri... heheheh
one way nak enjoy life nih... we apreciate other's achievement ... BESIDES building our own stack of success.. heheheeheh hmm... oklah... tuje yg aku mampu nak cakap waktu memalam ginih...0044... mungkin perasaan /kekeliruan/ keseronokan aku berubah dalam 2/3 hari/jam/ minit... walau apa apun... inilah yg ada dalam ruang hati aku... hheheh till then wassalam...
p/s nina... do subscribe my blog .... heheeh







sukanya... cuma leceh nak cari .gif/.jpg dia...thanks.. kerna 'bukak' laluan huh



... ok babeh... rock... i'm kindof nampak rythm...nak ammek picture/logo... thanks...






img src="http://www.reemst.com/calvin_and_hobbes/comics/pics/names/flip2.gif">



...rock... tulung aku weh.... tak dapat nak ammek pun...



heh my new blue speghetti vincci sandal is kindof limiting my movement heh!! hmm... i guess this chance is not practicle..afterall... my 'leg' skin is becoming darker .. huakkk!!!






i re'watch' a night's tale... heh masuk kali nih adalah kot 4 kali... hmm... the film was nice... bak kata si pengarahnya, it's an ancient story with the support of modern musics, although we're leaving the past toward the future, human are still in search of love, power and secure... huh
william : the love make me feel like a poet
brad : huh , when you be a poet you look like an idiot!!
is it?



lately the class seems so interesting, hmmm last friday, collen discuss about how strong are the red indians in protecting their fading culture.... she's so good because within that 50 minutes cha manage to capture the class attention... hmm... she mention :-
the power of stupidity and resistance... this is what literature is all about perhaps.. how we interprate the same words in a different scenario, to some person, the passage might be something with a simple message, how the indian tradition dealing with the death, but to collen it's more .... humpphh... i'm now having a different percertion towrds literature.... it make the mind thinks actually.... i used to think that literature is something that need to memorize, boring passages but.. after all.. it's quite fun...
all we need is just a piece of a critical thinking!