well.well....va va va.... heh after a while waiting at last i manage to enter this culomn... so lembab the server here had been.... anyway...
huh.... my life gonna be in this circulation nampaknya....today... tak pasal2 i got to qadha my zuhur... huh... i can't make this to be such a lineant next time... heh anyway...
i did such a stupid thing... i send sms to him... huh... but heh.. he didn't reply any of them (heh just 2 maa... anyway) habih duit aku kalau macam nih... heh.... nasehat member2 semua mmg bagus... to keep in touch... but... i won't think this would be nice since it happened this way.... i got to admit that it wasn't that nice ending... where i didn't manage to get his status toward these feelings..... somehow tha saying ' if you love someone let him go.... if he returns... he's yours forever.... but if he turns away.... than he's not from the beginning'.... heh tough ma.... heh somehow it does like that... wakakakakakaak ... some more it's about dignity... heh... for those people out there ...you know the best of you... heh well from now on... i'll let him be a legend in my memories no such word of will appear from my mouth.... heh.... i want to concerntrate of buliding me... building the person behind ALQAS.... i wanna be somebody.... and i rely on ALLAH all the metter of maut,rezeki and JODOH....i'll work hard... and i'll assure my success reflected my Islam as i've ever dereamt before..waa....weee... heh...






2400 for a starting
huh..
quite an amount..heh... heh.heh heh heh hish... menggugat plan aku... heh huh hish... anyway... hmm... a friend of my mom suggested me to 'rayu' from the lect to raise my 0.01 cgpa mark... so that i would be in another catogary of student.... heh... it isn't that easy... i've decided to remain in this position... cause begging is the last choice for me... heh i still remember a teacher who taught me so..... he was my band instructor... i still remember.. when we were lack of percussion member since the backoff of a real sifoo drummer.... well... the members-students including me were begging to this person... asking her to play only this time... once ... last performance... then this begging story was heard by my instructor... well... he said... if she's not interested, let her go... no use begging cause begging will only requested her to play for others not with her full determination...
heh same as what i'm facing now... it's my fate that i'm lack of 0.01 BUT this will not stop my journey to success... cause a friend of mine called me last night.... her cgpa was 2.80 and now she's permenently working in a construction firm with rm2400 as a starting... ... soala rezeki maut dan JODOH di tangan ALLAH.... heh...



2400 for a starting
huh..
quite an amount..heh... heh.heh heh heh hish... menggugat plan aku... heh huh hish... anyway... hmm... a friend of my mom suggested me to 'rayu' from the lect to raise my 0.01 cgpa mark... so that i would be in another catogary of student.... heh... it isn't that easy... i've decided to remain in this position... cause begging is the last choice for me... heh i still remember a teacher who taught me so..... he was my band instructor... i still remember.. when we were lack of percussion member since the backoff of a real sifoo drummer.... well... the members-students including me were begging to this person... asking her to play only this time... once ... last performance... then this begging story was heard by my instructor... well... he said... if she's not interested, let her go... no use begging cause begging will only requested her to play for others not with her full determination...
heh same as what i'm facing now... it's my fate that i'm lack of 0.01 BUT this will not stop my journey to success... cause a friend of mine called me last night.... her cgpa was 2.80 and now she's permenently working in a construction firm with rm2400 as a starting... ... soala rezeki maut dan JODOH di tangan ALLAH.... heh...






ayark... i need to change the templete lah.. so dull... heh now is better i hope..



well today is the final day i'm in campus... actually i ended my life here on 15 march 2002 but till today 25 april 2002 i'm still here... meh... actually i couldn't manage to forget the memories ... and for the past 1.5 months.. i was playing around... having nothing to do no plan, no works, no homeworks, no lectures, no pal, ...it's about 40 hari... heh orang mati pun akan wat kenduri hari ke 44... anyway... todal will be the final... final day...for me here till the masters program is confirm.. i was hoping and i'm hoping and i'm working with it.. to do masters somewhere else.. far from here far from the surrounding.... i wang to bermusafiran for a moment.... to see the world.... to FEEL the world... huh... but time is catching....
actually... i'm not commited to any plan.... heh i'm not with a full heart to get a permenent job... heh silver bullet did strike me with her idea of getting experience rather than further studies... huarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... it's ok i'm in my own way... well it's just as a metter of time... for me ... now is the time to learn...i budget my savings for 3 years from now... to learn... for the time being.... i'll do english... i'll assure my english is as fluent as dr.m.. where i felt ease with it and a can debate using it.... and i'm definitely sure about the keyborad class.. i'm not that senior citizen to enter any of the class.. for the short term planning... i'm into these two.... heh...




hitam itu perrilys..... hitam itu menawan.... heh.... i've decided to chance my aerobic costum with a pal...heh... i used to wear a striking colourful short sleve outfit... but i then exchange with a sexy sleveless with plain lines of my pal... heh... as i reached the hall... heh to my surprise ... i looked into the mirror ....heh kena sunburn... serious... moreover maluuuuuuu when my instructor tegur about the darkness... heh... i'm not only getting older... but darker as well... anyway... as long i can trim and firm my body, i won't think twice about going swimming everyday.. i felt i'm toning my arm mostly ang my pinggang... heh to get a shape... if it can't be a guitar ... i'll assure at least it'll be in a botol coke shape......
i had a discussion with a apal justnow.... about... boys...ermmmm men.. would be better... well... heh it sound that ... kalau ammik master cam harga jatuh... heh.. well.soal jodoh .. kekadang rasa semacam gak berbicara pasal menda nih...
semua opinion ada benar nya.. cuma aku rasa ... ntah .. i'm not feeling what they say were annoying my heart... it's just that i need a differ surrounding of positive thinking towards my plan.. heh rock... no one here are so supportive as you do... anyway.. like ur father said once - you must be strong positive in a negative surrounding and you know what's the best for you...







heh... justnow.. i've arrange the asts... i've returned all the notes... heh... it will be a while after... for me to return here since i myself can't bare to forget all da great things happens in my 3rd year... all the pbw, nas, parco heh everyone....
i dunno why... i kept remember all the lectures... everyone.. an, nurma... tati... heh... i want to forget them ... i want to go far away i want to fly.... rock... after reading your sms.. now i'll be more seroius to find sponsors.... ...



don't say good bye... say see you later..... heh it was the saying of mike...the son of john q.... yeah .. i agree with the saying and... i dedicate to this Mr. PBD.... heh well dude..... it isn't any goodbye but see ya later... heh well... well..
it's a fac that i can't deny that i do admire this pbw man... heh.....i've been so 'nut' once...you know... every blue metallic toyota corolla that pass through me ..i'll take a spot on it... though i'm driving besides my dad... heh... anyway...
aku tak tau aaa... kekadang tuh rasa macam idup sekrang takde tujuan....at a point... i felt so useless... nothing to do... nothing venture... but at another point so much plan was in my kapla hotak.... anyway.....






huh... it had been about 4 days since my last blog publish.... nuthin' much happend...cumanya life in a circle... hm...the story of satria and superman did touch me.. cause i felt a lil bit of shame... huh... apa idaknya...clerk kent.. cakap tipu... and i was the so called karat mobile phone for him... chessssssss...next time... i will be more careful dealing with such things... though it's not on my batang idung.... heh it still aaaa on my kapla lutut..... heh ... satria --> heh .... after all that happend... i don't think he'll be ure Mr. Right, FORGET HIM...huh
heh i wanna pursue my studies oversea... heh how i wish my dad has a company like Mr' Bill Gate..... then he'll sponsor all my dream & plan... all da scuba , keyboard, pastry, class... hehehe anyway.... luckly he's not... cause i've read once an article about mr gate.... masa dia sekolah dulu...pernah dia tak mandii... heheh tak terurus... what the writer wanted to highlight was- though you might not be someone yg kemas... teratur, you can still success in life... really aaa??







today... a fresh morning... last 2 day i was struck down with the bullemic syndrom...huakkkkkk heheheh it must have been something wrong i ate.... i felt so slim... yalah.. 1 whole day my stomack can't consume any food... anyway... i wanna keep life like this... hmm.... a whole day...with a must of sports activity in the evening ...it's either swimming/ aerobics... heh...
i was thinking about attending keyboard class... hmm i called my sister's friend last night asking about the class..she went for the guitar class...... well it was nice... cumanya di akhir perbualan dia tambah... erm.. tapi nanti kelas tuh banyak budak2 la.... huakkkkk hish... sesekali cam seganlah plak.. kelas nganbudak2... sebab rasa dah cukup tua nak ditempatkan sekali... anyway... i shall round and do a survey about it first.....
it was the same day too... i chat with my longest ever known friend... since i was in standard 1 i knew her... huh... long time never chat..... hmm... she made me think... of my future.. and her aspiration to gain as much communication skills as posibble... hmm... she had been doing part time job and her valuable experience... hmm... how am i going to face such a competetion .... huh i better get started.... so far... the english metter is running well... it's now regarding my master program.... then... i would dream of scuba diving class.. an then keyboard class.. and then pastry clas... and then... huh mati woo..... berapa manyak mau bayar... heh...
anyway... huh.. huakk..






sambungan cerita semalam... heh for those who are interested... read the previous blog...... yaeh.. things get worst more over when inthe 5th semested i did really badly, at that time jugaklah i started to be serious admiring this guy huh like some dumbell... but who cares... i really adore him... huakkkkkkkkkkk , and at that time too i realize all my best friends heh 2 of them.... one in the north besides me and the other in the south- did really well in their course... i felt so down... heh i nearly GIVE UP .... but to my surprise.. my best friends realize..... and the continue giving me the spirit to continue direct and indirectly... one helped me to overcome my feeling toward this guy maturely and she did taught me lessons... which i never forget....though at last nothing happens... hehhee malu........ and the other friend helped me by supporting with my academic performence ..... .... which lead me to be more confidence...though she's far away... her email inspire me alot ... THANKS FOR BOTH OF YOU....huh and there it goes.... ... weh sambung nanti .. kawan aku tunggu nih nak kuar outing... heh






last saturday was such a memoriable day... heh apa idaknya... satu suspens yang betul2 memainkan perasaan... it was a cry of exhausting...frustration... buat 2 hours then... it turn to a joy .....Alhamdullilah... heh i recall my memory then back 2 years ago..... i've said in my heart at that time that..... huh i'm not listed !!!!.. tapi tak pa... aku akan bagi nama masuk list pada akhir semester...absolutely.. sebab by that time no perjumpaan dah yg akan di adakan jadi tak akan timbul rasa riak... huh but as semester the flows i couldn't manage any place up there... .. nanti sambung ada keje aa






yesterday.. i went to alor setar... hmmm a journey of 1.25 hour... we deoarted around 4.45 and camoe bank home just nice around 11.45 (could manage to caatch a glimps on survivor.. for a while).... huh it was nice ... the panoramic view of sawah bendang and the area was comforting as it welcoms us .... somehow... it was the 'salam' issue that arised last night during the farewell time... huh..sometimes... you should "give respects to others, then out of blue... people will reply the respect"..hmm.. anyway..
the lady at hanchiang school sound strict.... heh... she made me think twice.... thanks... i did learn something from you anyhow..







the theme for today...... 'fikirkan boleh' huakkk... skema siut... heh... i went for swimming yesterday and... aaaaahhh i felt so relaxed today... hmm... my target was 20 round of 8 meter pool... but... i tend to forget the counting round.. so i did swim for 50 solid minutes...( maybe around 26 round)... heh
last night my pal call... saying she's in my hometown... ...i have 2 agenda to complete..
1. english propaganda
2. crystal oscillator
huh ... now i know.. why satria.. like bo layan... hmm... homesick aaa.... nevermind... as you return from home... everything shall be alright... insyaalah....hmm... yeah..next proposal... surely be done in da campus...heh gt find staff from the net..long determination somehow +saving internet cos.........
yesterday too i met patih80.. huh... sembang2 in the library...he 'struck'ed me with 1 cepumas question... sapa pompuan yg minat sangat pbw tuh huakkk.... heh what to say ???... to secure my position i goreng him habih2 aa... heh all those story had fade....i've new dream... new aim... but somehow...sometimes it did sparkle in my mind...anyway...i'm still with my paradigm.... b4 meeting him again i wanna to be 'patten' ed kan......heh...
weh.. satria.. camna ko tukar templete tu??? templete nih dull aaa....






"let love bring us together.... till death tear us apart" huh suah a proverb.... during my ride back home, i had a nice discussion with my freind who used to be my schoolmate... a pair of couple....friends of mine the gal... a kedahian while the boy a kelantanese... huh they have been together since january and this weekend .... it was such a surpurising ... cause they've been no gossips about them till yesterday... heh when it apperas to my ear... this should then be such words of mouth then...anyway.... it was a quite a shock and sad.. to hear that this weekend a 'rombongan' is scheduled to this gal house and hat particular group isn't from kelantan but somewhere from kedah... huakkk..... hmm.. "let love bring them together.... till death tear them apart" ... huh...
i finally have made my mind ... i'll continue to do my master programme... and my target is to accomplish it within 1.5 year... it's possible... i'll work on it somehow...
one of my pasl had been employed.. hmmm nice to hear... it does spark a little of envy in my heart but ..... everyone has their own journey of life... it's just a metter of time...
huh.. such a tyring day today... i walked around da main campus... hiking all da hill... walking through all da road... heh le tour de campus... without any help from PDJ.. hmmmm.... i then had a rest in the library..... surfing the net... and jump in this blog column..
... ... when aa.. all my friend will be around... wishing they were here acompanying me ronda2 to know about this island... i went with a friend justnow to the town... huakkk we were lost... all da 3 of us is penangete... huh.... and i was thinking that i should attend any seminar - heh knowing more about your hometown............ huh







wah... my lunch justnow was so big.... huh not physically mamoth but extremly phsyco, virtual mahal.. huakkk
4.50 for a dish about 1.5 palm size rice without chicken, without meat, without ikan mahal2, without ketam , udang.. huh!!!
nih baru kat Parit Buntar... kalau kat KL heh... anyway.. dah nak hadam dah pun dalam perut nih...
hmmmm after hearing the seminar about MEMS... i felt that it was a gigantic project actually... huah... sincerely to say.... its.. such imposible to accomplish within a year.... huh anyway.. i may need to spare a back up tittle.. huakkkkkkk.......
hmm... back in campus ... heh..






huargh... back in campus.. hmm.... my feelings are scrambled, huh joy, bored, frustrated, regret, huakk....
huh all such negative statements... anyway... i gotta finish the proposal about this mems application for DNA.. heh it's about layout.. layout... somethin' new for me to explore ... heh sounds nice.. but surely got to be a lot of task and effort.. heh ...
i wanted a change... a change in my life... hmm.... after having a conversation with a pal justnow, i realize that... you never could change the surrounding..... it's you ... the main point to change.. heh... dr. os did mention about pointer... huah... something whichi dislike to discuss.. hmm.... satria watching.... my idea had flow away...anyway...
heh... erm... manyak keje ooo.. could i manage hah to finish the proposal by tomorrow... huh...







i'm now in my hometown.... wallaweh... heh i recieved an email from mr batman.. saying how he's enjoying his holiday..... with his fish... huakkk
hmm.. yesterday was quite hectic moreover when i did something which i considered as quite rude... i scolded a woman (working in ips) heheh i wouldn't dare to do such thing IF SHE DIDN'T START heh.... who am i to judge those nonsence....
anyway... when i analyze my mom comment regarding the matter... i realize how nice if i just be a little patient... hmm... i'm working on it, mom... to be as wise as i could.... anyway.... the phrase ASSABARU MINAL IMAN is the matter.... really touching but most of all need a lot of sacrifies... huh
to proceed master... to work... the dillema is still playing in my mind... and i finally decided that i'll wait and see... & i will grab whateva the best... heh.. WHATEVA???? huakkk...
while swimming yesterday, i felt so release... realese all such tense.....i realize that... i wanna to sport... and i don't want to quit... coz i felt much healthier and much more relaxed... the point was actually... really trimmed..... huakkk
hmm... today pulak.. i'll try for some aerobics... if my sis wanna join... if not... heh potato cauch lah...






"life is short"... huh how i wish that phrase could come out from my mouth in such a buring situation i'm having now....
heh such a nice story of "kematian firus"..by joe.. lawak..haha.... anyway..
tadi aku met tihs guy...the one who went for the agilent interview.. hmmm... een kata ada feature cam dia.... toing!!!tooing!! ....hmm...
after a short meeting with mr.deputy dean ..i felt kind of insecure... heh financiallly... tapi takpe... bapak osman ada... huakkkk...... hmm...
well i've checked my result.... hmm alhamdullilah... anyway..kekadang tuh bile teringat balik matlamat masa f5 .. rasa cam sedey... sebab the highest achievement that i manage to get wasn't that good enough... heh... hopefully this last one can quench my all the 3 years of thirst....
heh BUT he did it once.... but i did none.... heh..... nevermind........
there's plenty of time for me to be 'labelled' perhaps.. 'patent'ed....
i believe and i want to believe that one day... we shall meet ...a meeting of honour ......where at that time...i'm backed with a "trademark" of confidence ... huakkkkk.... hehehheh .
it was a tiring aerobic session justnow... kinda fun... just lack of chacha dance...huh...
tonight i've an agenda...... agenda of realizing a newly 'mosque' hmm.... kinda positive anyway... we shall see it tonight.. hah..satria??? ahaks...






well... finally ...it's done... after all the hectic way to enter this blogger column..... anyway... heh what to write huh... lack of ideas...
hmm.... life now had change.... not used to be as the one i've been for the past 3 years... all the campus life, lectures paradigm, gossips.. had ended... i'm now on my own... having the full responsibilities to make decision... argh.... sometimes i felt like working... having a successful career would be such a nice dream... but the other time..... i was thinking to further my studies..... ya lah... it's a challenging world maa... nowadays..... heh... anyway... since this is the beginning of my blog... indirectly this would be the begining of my story life too... hmm... i was wondering....
could it be a wonderful taught to message him??? toing !!! toing !! heheheeh it was nice actually.... heheh ending my undergraduate life by confessing all the sms which i sent..tapi sayangnya dilla tadak..... akkk idak pun sure lagi hangatnya malam tuh....the sms was nuthin'... just some junk pop greeting... .. huakk.... heh...anyway... how where & what is he doing right now??.....is he still with his guitar??? has he been employed ??? or has he been with someone special right now (the right question acctually).. . ... aarrgh nyahkan saja.... heh... if he's so good how come no one knows about his real life.... heh..
hmm... nuthin' special happens today ... but i notice my interest is blooming to study the DNA project... though no grant is guarenteed... anyway... i'll korek a way to get some cash.... to avail myself for this DNA biosensor project... INSYAALAH.....